Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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