I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
