if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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