Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
