He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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