Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
