Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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