WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
