Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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