He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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