I got chris browned last night
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
