remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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