I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
