Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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