In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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