i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
