Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
