I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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