Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
