TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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