But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
