Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
There are leaves in my underwear?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
