My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
It was confusing and full of hummus
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
