Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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