just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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