I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
