btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
