U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
