I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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