Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
