You can't special order awesome
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
