I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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