You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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