just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
