its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize