This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
