Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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