I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
