this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
