I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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