You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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