Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Naked. naked and bneed help.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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