i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
