just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
