The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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