omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
