I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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