I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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