he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
