i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
