i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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