One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
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