Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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