Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
