I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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