Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Green mimosas i think yes
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize