i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Randomize
