How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
