we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
