All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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