you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I wish there were birth control emojis
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I have fence marks all over my body
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
