In the future we'll all be gay
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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