He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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