There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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