There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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