He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize