He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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