Betty ford says i'm here all night
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize