we're blogging at a bar
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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