It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
