Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
