come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
