Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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