I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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