That's intense
so explain again why im purple
no
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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