Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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