i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
