i think i have herpe
just one?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
