he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we're making bets on your personal life
I just found puke in my bra..
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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