HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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