so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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