What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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