It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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