I hate all girls vehemently.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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