Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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