True but thats because hes a fetus.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
